When God gives the test right after the lesson was taught

       Three or four weeks ago, I joined a new dgroup.  It took time for me to finally find one that will suit my new schedule.  And by God's guidance I was able to find the right dgroup for the right time slot.  So there. It was Sunday. I was sitting on our first meeting while we were discussing 2 Peter 1: 5-7,  " In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge,  and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness,  and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone."  Little did I know that God was orchestrating something wonderful.

Come Monday, I went to my Italian language class. Prior to that day, I had some concerns about the program which I had been contemplating, trying to understand where they were coming from (the burden of teaching, paper works etc). I anticipated that change happens in that school most of the time but I was just surprised that wasn't ready for the changes we had to make for the play leaving me with no choice but to read the script (the objective was to test my conversational italian without codigo). I knew that the agent got disappointed with me (and God knows what).  So I accepted the fact that I'm performing without getting any grades because I'm reading the script. After the the play, I tried to talk to the agent to arrange a schedule that would work better than the previous. To my dismay, she was raising her voice on me and blaming me for the things I failed to do (I'm not elaborating them because the purpose of this post is to show God working on my character and not to justify myself.) I knew, I calmly tried to talk to her saying," Ma'am I came to talk to you not to complain but to fix the schedule" (originally in tagalog). Then her tone got better. For a moment, we were okay about the arrangement but when I requested for a syllabus, she raised her voice again and started saying so many things that I was left controlling myself not to answer back. If it was the old Prex, the moment she raised her voice I could have world war 4. But I felt at that time that it won't make a good testimony about my faith if I will respond now, for my emotions were also high that her words are already hurting me because in my heart they ain't true. As I approached the teacher and her assistant to work out the schedule, I found my hands shaking because of anger. Instead of exploding, by God's grace, I still managed to excuse myself for 2 minutes. I hastily walked out of the room and found a huge post where I hid and called my mom to cry. After minutes of crying, I wiped my tears and went back to the room and told them, "I'll just text you about the schedule." I picked up my things and excused myself out of the room. My emotion was just everywhere. I was really hurt while controlling not to talk and justify myself.  I found myself crying like a wounded child as I called my cousin and took the cab. And I praise God for my support group. One of my sisters in our dgroup comforted me as I shared what just happened. I was encouraged by her as she said that she read something from proverb which is just right for me.

As I told my piece, objectively as possible, to my mom's friend who recommended me there I was relieved when I concluded with I don't want to go anymore. And at that time I knew God tested my self-control. (Ang HIRAAAAP!)

Just when I thought I was done with the test, God made another. Remember the post I had before about my dilemma? Although the problem was fixed, I'm not in speaking terms with one of them. I felt that there must be some thing that she has to do before I can totally talk to her. In my heart I wanted her to admit that her words towards me were harsh and little sorry won't hurt (Although I had already forgiven her). Ooops! There's a bit of pride in me there. This one started with a survey she created in preparation to our boss' baby shower. Having an erratic schedule because of juggling with my italian class sked and work, I missed out a lot. My seatmates were forcing me to confirm if I'm coming or not. I told them, I don't know yet what my schedule would be. Of course I want to join them because it's for my boss (whom I really have high regard of and love) but I want to follow God's command that, "Just a simple, 'Yes I will', or, 'No I won't'. Anything beyond this is from the evil one." Matt 5:37 NLT so I want to be sure that my schedule's clear. Since I was forced, I checked in between the column and put t.b.c (to be confirmed). Little did I know that she will interpret it negatively. So Friday came, when she asked me to sign my EAR there was an unusual treatment on the way she handed the paper. And since I still have the hang over from that "Monday test", I was somewhat irritated but by God's impressed on me to end it. But another thing happened and led to somewhat annoying circumstance. So I talked to God about it then to my boss. And when I entered the pit stop, I talked to her. At first my voice was snappy because again I was shaking (thinking, here comes another and I have control over this). Good thing there was my boss and a friend who mediated. At the end, we were asked to say our piece. I was the last to talk. I said my piece with apologies and explaining where I am coming from. Then it was settled. (At present we are still not in talking terms since there's nothing for us to talk about. I'm also waiting for the right time to start a conversation or just a simple hi.) 


The Sunday after that, I was sharing it to my dgroup when Pastor Peter also talked about Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd.  This is another blog entry for me. hehe!



When these were happening, I really didn't know how to respond. All I remember at that time was I'm for Jesus and I should act in such a way that will glorify Him. And it's only by God's grace that I was able to respond to the situation differently. Different from what I used to but still not as perfect as I wanted it to be. But I thank God for who He is because He justified us through Jesus and we are perfect in His eyes. "So now there's no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus," Romans 8:1


To God be all the glory!