I'm a sucker for hopeless romantic movies. And I, myself, am hopeless romantic since birth. I just love love. I had three failed serious relationships because I thought I was hopeless and each time was my chance to be romanced. Needless to say, I was wrong.
By God's grace, I realized that getting into a serious relationship with a guy is not a need but just a want. As I rethink about how each started, happened and ended, I became sure that it is not really what I needed then and at this time too. And as I turned to God to show the way, indeed, He was faithful in giving me the answers.
My last relationship ended more than three years ago which was very painful for me. It was THAT painful that I was forced to find another job so I could live a new life. (But the pain was worth it because that's when I got to know Jesus more.) And as I came to know God and Jesus, how He loves me unconditionally, I decided that I'm going to be more careful in getting to another serious relationship (God willing). But being that hopeless romantic me, January of this year, I bugged God to give me a "love" life. I was taught that whenever I ask God something it would be better if it is specific. So I asked, "God please give me my own love life soon. And can it be next month?" My prayer had always been about finding love and specifics of the guy that I would fall for. Until one day, that "kilig" feeling came. The first one was someone I like since last year and the other was someone I would consider. At first I thought, "Wow! This is promising." I'm getting he attention and kilig I had always wanted. Still, I consistently prayed to God to lead me. I really don't want to go wrong this time and invest time on something that God doesn't want me to have. And I thank God for the wisdom He had blessed me through attending Sunday services and reading Christian books. I learned what God wants me to have as a woman and what I want to experience and be as a woman. Until one evening, I happened to chat with them at the same time. At some point I felt I was somehow approaching Lala land (you know that getting to know you face, that kilig and all) when the guy I liked asked me, "Do you like me?" while the other asked, "You don't like me, do you?" Boom! All of a sudden it felt like falling on the ground flat. Just when I was enjoying the getting-to-know-you phase, I was asked to draw. And I knew that's not how I wanted my relationship to start. I want my relationship to start with a man who pursues what he wants in a godly way. In a way that God created him to be. And as for me, I want to be pursued as God designed me to be, to be pursued. Then God impressed on me, "Child, is that what you want to have again?" few minutes after one of my FB news feeds had a photo saying, "Good things happen to those who wait." I was convinced, God wanted me to wait.
Why am I writing this anyway? I am writing this because I want to remind myself what God wants me to have and what I had always wanted too. Lord knows what I want in His best for me. And I know too that all I have to do is to wait for His right time. And that whenever I see photos of my friends getting married, having babies, getting into serious relationships and posting sweet nothings for their partners, I shall stop feeling bad about God delaying His best. (Just what I felt prior to me writing this.) And Lord, thank you for this quote:
He may delay because it would not be safe to give us at once what we ask: we are not ready for it. To give ere we could truly receive, would be to destroy the very heart and hope of prayer, to cease to be our Father. The delay itself may work to bring us nearer to our help, to increase the desire, perfect the prayer, and ripen the receptive condition.- George Macdonald
One thing's for sure. I know what I want. I want God to takeover my life. I want Him to write my love story which will be better than John Lloyd's hopeless romantic flicks. A love story that will glorify God and will testify that loving God with all your heart, mind and soul brings faithful promise to life.
My child,never forget the things I have taught you.
Store my commands in your heart.
2 If you do this, you will live many years,
and your life will be satisfying.
Proverbs 3: 1-2
All things come to him who waits - provided he knows what he is waiting for. - Woodrow Wilson
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