Before I came to know Christ, I am a SINNER like everyone. And I praise God for opening my heart, mind and soul to His free gift of salvation (Romans 6:23) and it's only by God's grace that I am saved and not because of my own doing (Ephesians 2:8-9). And as I seek God and had found God (only by His grace), God led me to be with His people everywhere I go and get acquianted, be friends or affiliated (Acts 2:42-47). And btw, I'm STILL A WORK in PROGRESS (still sin) even if I already have Jesus in my life.
As a young believer (As I've been in this new found faith for 3 years and only Sept 11, 2011 that I took my faith seriously--that's another entry in the future God willing), I had been praying to God to give me abundant patience, understanding, compassion and love to others as He did to me and through His Son Jesus. Again, by His grace, step by step, in a pace tailored fit by God in my character he's working in my weaknesses and issues. I, myself, noticed the change in my attitude towards my job (which I used to describe it as stressful although it was an understatement), the people I talked to overseas (despite their expression of disappointment is more often than not unbearable), the people I encounter and work with everyday and my perspective on things. There would come a time that people who knew me before I have Christ will tell me if it's really me or that I've changed (Praise God!).
I was so excited about this change, on fire and that I get more excited whenever I meet people who have the same faith as mine. I even told God one day that I feel like I just want to be surrounded by believers all the time so it will be less difficult (trans: patience, extending grace, understanding, forgiveness) because in my mind they knew about it already. They know God and accepted Jesus in their lives so it's easy for me to deal with them. In my mind, unconsciously, I'm dating the church. I'm dating the idea that since they know Jesus, they are definitely LIKE JESUS. And that's it.
I met him. I met her. I met them. We met. We talked. For weeks, I constantly meet people who knew Jesus but on some or many ocasions do not act like they know Him. I was really disappointed. There are those who claim to attend dgroups. There are those who knew everything and even attend bible studies. There are those who claim this or that but... in my mind I was asking, " Talaga bang nasa puso nya si Jesus?" "Huh? talaga? parang di halata?" Out of nowhere, I was condemned by another believer of something I really don't have any idea and was far from my intention. There will be times I'll be ashamed to hear others telling themselves,"Christian pa man din ganyan umasta?" refering to another believer. Then later on, hearing myself saying it myself. I even said some ungodly things to other people because of my frustrations. At some point, the tongue which God tamed to be used for praising Him became the same tongue mocking others. (What a terrible believer I am!)
But God is gracious enough to rebuke me as He spoke to me through Luke 6:42, " How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Ouch! To the highest level!
God made me realized that I, too, even though I have Jesus in my life I fail to glorify Him in my deeds, words and thoughts (many times!). Between God and I, we both know that I am definitely a WORK in PROGRESS! And like every believer I know and do not know, WE ARE ALL WORK in PROGRESS. But God didn't stop there in rebuking me, he said "“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37. Papalag pa ba ako? hehehe
Then I remember the verse that I used to have in my notes which encouraged me when I can't forgive myself from falling into sin over and over again, Romans 7:14-20:
"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
Like me, everyone has its own struggle (believer or not) and dealing. Jesus died for everyone's sin. So who am I to judge my brother or sister's walk with God? Who am I to condemn my brother or sister? Who am I not to forgive them who condemned me? Who am I? I am a sinner, forgiven, saved by Jesus and made perfect in God's eyes only by HIs grace. I, too, is at God's mercy. I am nothing. Without God, without Jesus, I am unlovely.
I testify that God works in a mysterious ways. I praise God and thankful to Him that He renews mercy everyday. I was blessed by our Team's short devo yesterday. Our sister in Christ, Ria, (and I praise God that she shared this) from Romans 14: 10-22
"You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”
So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves."
I'm still amazed how God rebuked me. I was teary eyed when I realized these things while the lines from a song played in my mind "Who am I that you are mindful of me? That you hear me, when I call. Is it true that you are thinking me? How you love me, it's amazing." God is, indeed, mindful of my walk by rebuking and disciplining me through His word. Like a father who teaches his daughter to be a better person.
Without Jesus, I will only see a sinner each time I look at the mirror. But by God's grace alone, I am given this privilege to see the fairest of them all - Jesus.
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